I have nothing witty to say.

Who?

My name is Amber Heineken, and I go by Bambi. I live in Kansas City. I'm not going to school. I'm eighteen. I have a chair that was in the Japanese movie Mermaid. I'm working at being a tattoo artist, but right now, I sit at a desk all day and answer phones, ride my cruiser, and bake artisan bread.

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Oh my good lord… Andy Davis, you can marry me.

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